BODA EN PETERBOROUGH

Mum was right. A wedding without disasters clearly broke some unwritten rule of universe. Like snow at Christmas. Or pain-free childbirth.

She rang the marquee people and that was fine. They'd come round with mops and heaters later on in the day.

Then Auntie Eileen and Uncle Ronnie turned up with their Labrador in tow. Because their dog-sitter was in hospital. Unfortunately Jacob hated dogs. So it was shut outside to keep Jacob happy. At wich point it began howling and trying to dig its way through the back door.

Then the caterers rang to say they needed to change the menu after a power failure left a freezer off overnight. Sadie rang to say she'd just got back from New Zeland and found the invitation in the post and could she come. And Brian and Gail rang to say the hotel had lost their resarvation and clearly someone else had to solve this problem for them. Like the bride, for example. Or the bride's parents.

Katie gave up answering the phone and went upstairs and found Dad locked into the bathroom, possibly hiding from Eileen and Ronnied, so she went up to the top loo, peed and flushed and heard the macerator grinding away and saw the water surge to witihin a centimebre of the rim of the bowl. At wich point some kind of death-wish took her over...

A spot of bother. Mark Haddon.